I must be too annoying 4 u.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
