Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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