What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
