btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
