plz talk dirty to me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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