VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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