So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
