I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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