Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
