I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize