make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize