I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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