I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
