We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
