She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
