remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
