Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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