So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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