dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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