I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
