I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
