worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
