How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
