I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
