I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
