Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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