Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
