There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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