just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
