never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
