so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
