Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
