aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
