I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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