We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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