Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
