3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
