Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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