Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she told me i tasted like america
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
