You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
