I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
