My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
