I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
