My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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