My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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