but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
