Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's like God shit irony all over that family
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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