quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
