party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
