is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
