is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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