After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize