I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
