He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think people are normalizing furries
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
