doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
