So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
