Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
