i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
