Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

Fav 10 1242 2867
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

Fav 4 830 2932
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

Fav 15 7457 1997
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

Fav 24 3284 1910
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

Fav 6 2441 939
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(732): View more from New Jersey

why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

Fav 14 4020 1122
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(816): View more from Missouri

If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

Fav 8 690 1101
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(510): View more from California

I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.

Fav 2 106 7
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(631): View more from New York

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!

Fav 0 112 43
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