He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
