I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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