I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
