Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
