we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
ok first of all what the fuck
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
