Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Randomize
